A Chocobo Named Bob
by AlphaNinn
Summary: Um. It has a strange chocobo in it. You'll see a side of Aeris that you've never seen before. It has no romance in it. And I think I can safely say that if you enjoyed 'A Chocobo's Tale', then you'll like this.


A Chocobo Called Bob   
By: Ninn   
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You know something? I have no idea where this came from. I was just sitting here cleaning my room one   
night, and I began to get some chocobo ideas - sorry, no pathetic ones here - and this is what came out.   
I have a feeling that if you liked my other chocobo story, A chcobo's tale, then you'll like this one ;p   
Anywho, Enjoy!!!   
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There once was a chocobo. But, this chocobo was no ordinary chocobo. It wasn't yellow, green, blue   
or black. It wasn't even gold. No, this one was much better - it was orange with polka dots. 

It spent all it's time wandering around the world, playing hard to find, despite the fact that it wanted an   
owner. Then, one day it wandered into a town. People saw it and were scared of it so they ran. The chocobo   
became sad, and sat in the middle of the town, warking pathetically. But no one took pity on it, they had   
other things to worry about - namely the large ball called Meteor that was hovering in the sky, ready to   
destroy them. 

Then a woman walked into town. Normally there would be nothing unusual about this, but this particular   
woman was supposed to be dead. There were witnesses of her death, and she had even been buried in a   
lake. And she had a hole in the front of her dress that would match a stab wound. 

The woman dressed in pink approached the bird, which glared at her. 

Paying no attention to the glare, she continued on her path, then knelt by the strange looking chocobo. 

"Hello there. Why are you sitting in the middle of this town? Wouldn't you rather be in the wild or in   
someones stable?" 

The bird looked at her and cocked it's head to the side, "Wark." 

"??? Do you have a name?" 

"Wark....." 

"Well, do you want to be mine?" 

"Wark! Wark!" 

"Ok," she thought for a moment, "Do you like the name Bob? I like Bob, but only if it's spelled   
F-R-E-D." 

Bob looked at her and blinked. 

"Do you want to know my name? I'm Aeris, but I'm supposed to be dead," she indicated at the   
hole on the front of her dress, "Do you want to know why I'm not dead?" 

"Wark." 

"I was stabbed, but I had a final-attack revive combo on me. And I had the underwater materia, too.   
Then I hid at the bottom of the lake until they were gone. You see, I made them think I liked them, but   
I really wanted to kill them - and I will. Will you help me?" 

"Wark!" The chocobo blinked then nodded. 

Aeris squealed, "Thank you! I don't know where they are right now, can you walk or swim or fly or   
do whatever you do for a long time?" 

"Warrrrrrrrrrrk....... Wark!" 

"I'll take that as a yes. Now, let me get on your back." 

The chocobo stood then leaned down, allowing Aeris to climb onto its back. 

"Um, you choose the destination." 

"Wark!!!" The chocobo took off running then began to fly. 

They flew for awhile, then Aeris kicked the bird. 

"Hey, Bob! Land at that town there. I want to get something!" 

"Wark!" Then Bob landed, throwing Aeris over his head. 

She landed on some sharp rocks, shredding the back of her dress. Shrugging, she walked into the 

town. She had always hated that dress, and she was sick of pretending she liked pink. 

A few moments lated she found a clothing store, and a few moments after that she left the store. 

She had lost the dress and was now wearing a pair of black pants and a grey shirt. On top of the   
shirt was a black vest like item that fell to the back of her knees. Her hair was no longer in the twist,   
but now in a tight braid bound by a piece of string that was invisible in her hair. 

Bob looked at her and warked loudly. 

"Bob, shh. It's me," she muttered and climbed back onto the bird's back. 

Bob was in the air again, and they had been flying for a long time before they were over the northern   
continent. Without Aeris saying anything, Bob landed. 

"What is it?" 

"wark..." Bob replied, sounding tired. 

"Ok. I'm going to explore around here," she looked around, "Hey, footprints in the snow! Maybe I'll   
get my chance now.... Bob! Wait here! I'll be back later." 

"Wark," he watched Aeris wander off into the depths of the crater. 

Thanks to a mastered enemy-away materia that she had acquired from Yuffie (how Yuffie got it,   
she didn't know - but she had some good ideas) Aeris met no enemies. Which she thought was a   
good thing, because she could see some of the lurking in the shadows, and they were scary. But every   
now an then she would see a corpse to one of them, so apparantly the rest of her group had been this   
way not too long ago. 

She got lost a couple of times, and found herself nearly swimming in the area that was really watery,   
but managed to find her way to the middle. But she found no one there. Shrugging, she began to make   
her way back when the ground began to shake. Gasping, she flung herself to the wall, just in time, because   
the ground she had been standing on was gone. 

She was hidden behind a rock, and could see the rest of the group on two seperate ledges. Then Bob   
came flying down through the hole in the ceiling. She could hear gasps, and then the bird was hovering   
in front of her. She jumped onto it and together they flew over to the middle, where it hovered. 

"Hi everyone!" 

"Wait a minute. You're dead," Tifa exclaimed, "How are you here?" 

"There's a handy combo called final-attack -revive." 

"How did you get those?" 

"From Yuffie." 

"You! You took my materia. Damn you! Er..... I mean...... that wasn't mine. I swear it." 

"Yuffie, where'd you get the materia in the first place?" Cloud asked her. 

"Took it from someone. How else? Besides, why would you care - it wasn't yours." 

"You know it's not right to steal. You too, Aeris. Now, how are you here?" 

"You're not happy to see me? I'm hurt - " 

She was cut off by the whine of the engine of the Highwind, and then the firey explosion as it crashed   
into the wall of the crater. 

"*%%$#@*#(!*$&)#($*)#$*!@$^)(#$*&@$^*&^^$@#)@$*)&)&)@(#*($#," everyone shouted   
in unison. 

Aeris laughed, "Woohoo! Now I can kill you all!" 

"What? I thought you liked me! You sacrificed yourself for us..... or we thought you did. Wait - you   
summoned Holy. If you want to kill us, the why did you summon Holy?" Cloud sounded confused. 

"Do you know what Holy is doing up on the surface? It's pulling Meteor closer to the planet - and I'm   
not going to make the Lifestream counter it like I was supposed to." 

"Huh?" 

"Oh, I got a flash of the future before the revive materia kicked in. Now, how can I kill you? I don't have   
any worthwhile materia...... My Limits are all healing........ My attacks are rather pathetic..... I can not think   
of an easy way to kill you. I suppose I could let Meteor do it, but that would take away all the fun, and it'll   
probably kill me too....." 

"Wark!" 

"Bob? Do you have an idea?" 

"Umm...... Aeris? What's with that chocobo?" Tifa asked, staring at it's polka dots. 

"Do you not like my chocobo? His name is Bob, spelled F-R-E-D. He's better than a gold one." 

"No chocobo is better than Evl_Brd!" Cloud shouted, his arm motion nearly knocking Tifa off the ledge they   
were standing on. He saw her falling and grabbed her hand, pulling her up, "Sorry about that....." 

"No problem," she whispered, "But isn't Evl_Brd dead?" 

"We still don't know that. He just kinda disappeared off the World Map......." 

"So, what can this chocobo, Bob, do?" 

"Well, he can fly...... Bob, what else can you do? Can you attack them?" 

"Wark wark wark!" 

Bob raced at the group on the ledge opposite of Tifa and Cloud and began to peck, kick, slap them with   
his wings, then unleash a gust of polka dots that stuck to them and paralyzied them, causing them to   
suffocate and fall off the ledge. 

"Bob! Thanks. Now for the other two." 

The bird turned around and she was facing Cloud and Tifa. 

"See, my chocobo can do some sort of a magic attack. And it seems useful, it took them out in one   
hit. But, I don't want to kill you that same way. Bob, can you do anything else?" 

Bob nodded his head, and blinked, again, "Wark." 

Bob moved closer to the two on the ledge. 

"Aeris? Why do you want to kill us? Did we do something to you?" 

"Yes, you chose Tifa over me! Wait, I wanted to kill you before that, and I don't really know why." 

"I only chose her because I thought you were dead." 

"Hey! I'm still standing here!" Tifa yelled and slapped him. 

"Ow. That hurt. Well, it's the truth." 

"Ok, Bob. Do whatever you want." 

"Wark. Wark!" 

Bob moved in closer to the pair on the ledge. They attacked, but he dodged easily, and began to   
unleash a fire storm from it's beak. When they were stunned by it he began to peck and peck and   
peck until they were on their knees, then he knocked them over the edge, sending them spiraling to their death. 

Aeris laughed evilily. 

"Bob, head to the surface - I don't want to be trapped here." 

Bob did, and soon Aeris was watching Meteor impact on the planet. 

"WARK!" 

"What is is Bob?" 

Bob never warked again, as a large piece of derbis fell from the sky, crusing Aeris, and killing Bob.   
Aeris fell to the planet, but no one noticed the small dent she made in the shell of the planet - they   
were all dead and the chunk of Meteor fell on top of her forever hiding her body. 

THE END 

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*Ninn re-reads her story* Geez, that was wierder that I thought it would be. And the bit about Bob   
spelled F-R-E-D? Well, it was spawned on a band trip to Canada, I can't really explain. And yes, in my   
game, my chocobo Evl_Brd did disappear off of the world map. Oh well. Anyway, I 'm thinking of   
writing a series of messed up stories starring chocobos, would anyone read them if I did? 

Well, you know the drill. Type your review in the box down there, then hit "submit" 

Have a nice day! :)   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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